the thankful project day 6 : a failure

Today's prompt is a no brainer for me as to what failure I'm thankful for but writing it down to clearly communicate is the difficult part. I'll try.

To be brief, in my early twenties I got involved in a dating relationship that had the big red flags waving rather largely at me that said 'no. no. no'. However, I chose not to listen and got in over my head. It was addictive and hurtful. Hurtful both to me and those I love. However, from that hard time I've seen some truths that I'm thankful for and I hope it can encourage you.

1. God is full of lovingkindness - No matter how far away I was from God, He somehow always showed me lovingkindness. I can't tell you how many times I felt horrible inside and I'd open the Word and it would be a verse about God's lovingkindness. Deep down I knew His love was kind, it was steadfast and it always was there wanting me to come back to Him.

2. Addictions are real - I once worked at a group home with pregnant teen girls and I'd always think 'They are so ridiculous! That guy is so mean. I don't see why they don't just ditch him'? I thought that until I was the one in an addictive relationship and couldn't break free. See, sin has a way of taking you so far in that you are captive to it and there is no way that you can get out on your own. The only person that can set you free is Jesus himself. Sometimes the setting free happens instantaneously but for me it was a process. I can now relate to people when they say they have addictions. It's real. It's tough but through Jesus we have hope.

3. People will love you through it - I know this isn't the case for everyone but I was blessed with family and friends who loved me through this long drawn out process. My boyfriend Dave (husband now) also stuck with me during some ugly moments during my 'healing period'. To have love poured into your life when you absolutely don't deserve it is a different kind of humbling experience. Because of that, I am reminded to love people through their hard times too. No, it isn't fun and we'd like to shake them and wake them up to see the reality but that just isn't how it works. It takes patience, prayer and a lot of love.

4. Jesus is The Deliverer - Guys, to be honest, I often wonder if I would even be alive if Jesus hadn't swooped in and brought me out. All those verses in the Psalms talking about God setting the captives free is real. No matter how hard the fight remember Jesus delivers every time if we let Him.

I'm not thankful I failed and hurt people because that is honestly a terrible feeling. However, I'm thankful that God used some of my most broken times in life to teach me some of the deepest truths about Him and His love for me.